The WHY

 I have been feeling the need to give closure to and settle unfinished business of the past to streamline my life so far and my experiences therein. In the pursuit of this goal, I went to the bare basics of my relationships with my family members, my childhood, my emotional, social and psychological life with them. I made peace with all that.

The next bit was school. I haven't fully processed that, but yesterday I tried to rekindle my connect with Vidhi, and I sent friendship requests to Kadambari, Shweta and Tanvi. Beyond them, I am not sure I had any connections I could call pleasant. And for other school-related connects, I will let life bring them to me. And when that happens, I am committed to giving them a fair chance to blossom. For now, I think about 4 friends to represent that part of my life seems enough. (On a side note, while Jenny is a friend on Facebook, I don't quite think there's ever been motivation enough on her side to have a connect with me, so I will take it as a relic.)

There are some more things about my school life to make peace with - the Bharatnatyam classes, the drawing classes, the tuition classes with Divya's mom, Anand Sir, Meenu teacher and Sujju's mom. I can sense heavy feelings attached to these too. I think they will need processing.

So, looks like there's a lot to process in terms of journaling. However, I will do that on the side as I move on to my college days. That period of 5 years was the most unforgettable and the most impactful. It needs to be processed. A big part of it was psychology.

The psychology part didn't really reach its natural end, in that I abandoned it abruptly during my masters. I feel I want to give it closure. For that, I need to 'wake up' the connection I had with that discipline, which I had to bury so as to not feel emotionally torn in abandoning it. What I want is to relive that connection and this time be fully present and more courageous in deciding its role in my life.

To this end, I am starting to read an introductory textbook on psych, and to ensure I see it to its end, I am maintaining a blog to track my progress. The goal is to finish my textbook in 20 days or latest by the end of September 2020.

Everyday, 1 chapter to be completed. Alongside, my regular duties and now these journaling topics will continue.

The goal behind all this huge streamlining effort is that I let go of emotional burden, feel lighter and feel freer to look at the future.

Good luck to me :)